i actually took this a couple of days ago, but anyway, it’s one of the ones that i like.
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peijin
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peijin
把桨放下了，放在船底下，
抵达了这里，我不再游了。
四周是一览无余的大海中间。
抛锚了。
刚不久前这艘船差一点就被历史暗流弄翻了。我，幸存。
现在水面平静无波澜
剩下就是等待。等待什么？
等待我脑袋里的所有细胞染成天空似的湛蓝颜色再走－－
或许不走。不想等你们了。不是我没耐心了－－
你们知道我是急性子。妥协：就让我先走一步。 -
peijin
今天去了堂会看上海演员协会的聚会，没想到还有那么多外籍演员在上海。当今的上海已经是一个真正的国际大都市了。
今天下午去了aegean吃饭了，认识他们的厨师marios及他们的公关经理olivier。两个人英语都说的很好，而且那里的气氛不错，最好的当然就是免费吃饭。
今天结识了那么多演员，坏情绪悄然涌上心头
天天如此，尤其晚上 。我就是不口服心不服对人家说我仅仅是一个供稿摆弄文字的人
我不是怕人家看不起我，但是我一拿起那把吉他的时候弹几下就灰心了。这个不好，那个也不好，既然如此，与其拷问自己为什么不够好，还不如就早一点任命算了。
写诗歌，写故事，拍照也都如此。看了那个厨师这些想法也突如其来了搞的我情绪化的不得了，但是我依然要掩饰。我现在就连像stay这样的电影都不看不下去了，因为里面有了太多关于死亡的东西了。一个人可以担忧的事情太多了，其实一个人好过日子必不可少的能力就是选择性忘却一些扰乱思绪或者影响情绪的东西，反正趋利避害不要钻牛角尖不要去。奇怪的是如果环境是决定心境的话那么我为什么不跟说有住在上海的人一样，吃喝玩乐沉溺于灯红酒绿的都市生活？何乐而不为？这种社会生活会使稍微有个性的人感到窒息。日新月异，心灵岂能感到不累吗？我们都没有精神性的栖息处，我发挥不出什么好状态一点都不惊人。人家说时机到了，你做了充分的准备，有了扎实的基础，具备你所有应该具备的素质。。。我对这个已经没有什么信心了，现在剩下的只能寻找一个比较信手拈来的方法来骗取人家的注意与赏识。
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peijin
From China Daily comes this article on Zarqawi’s last moments on this earth:
Iraqi police pulled him from the flattened home and placed him on a makeshift stretcher. U.S. troops arrived, saw that al-Zarqawi was conscious, and tried to provide medical treatment, the spokesman said.
OK, that’s nice that they tried to save the guy’s life, but i think they ought to have considered that before dropping 500 lb. bombs (two of them at that) on this house, which killed a whole bunch of other people as well, who the US expressed no remorse about killing–meaning that the bombs did what they were supposed to do: kill people. Then the article says this:
So much blood covered al-Zarqawi’s body that US forces cleaned him up before taking photographs. “Despite the fact that this person actually had no regard for human life, we were not going to treat him in the same manner,” Caldwell said.
OK, that makes complete fucking sense. What the hell is the point of all the technology all the war toys that the US has developed? Defend the country, blah blah blah–we know those reasons–but the real reason is to kill people, and kill them fucking well. Which is what they did with Zarqawi, and now they are out to show how humane they are. Please. Yes he was terrorist, but don’t think that by bringing war and all the associated problems to Iraq that you guys are all of the sudden angels.
[tags] Iraq, Zarqawi, US, war, Al-Qaeda, terrorism[/tags]
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peijin
Finally, something they can see eye to eye on: the monopoly that ipod players have on tunes that people downloads from the Itunes store. It’s a good cause, i support em.
read an article about it here. The gist of it:
Denmark, Norway and Sweden teamed up to force Apple to break the exclusive link between its iPod music players and online iTunes store.
This is unusual as the three nations have fought each other in quite nasty wars for a few thousand years.
However, it seems that a dislike of Jobs’ mob has managed to gather a combined fleet of dragon ships.
[tags]apple, ipod, itunes, music, denmark. norway, sweden, technology, media, music, Europe [/tags]
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peijin
剛剛起床了，忘了把電視関掉，一個叫，非常女人的節目就儅了我今天的鬧鐘。還沒起床的時候，腦子迷迷糊糊的時候，一個詞兒就浮現在我腦海裏：淨化。 我之所以昨天說我妒嫉比我年輕的人。。。我覺得自己的思緒平常那麽的紛繁蕪雜的，怎麽能創作出什麽有價值的東西。對我來說，淨化就有這個含義：摒棄那些不 良的沉重的思想包袱。每個人都有自己的煩惱，但你卻不能這些變成拖累自身的進度。我覺得每天起來直面人生好比每天都要去攀越一座山。太累了真得太累了。拼 命吃藥能改善情況嗎？人生給你的寥寥無幾的樂趣，你得好好保護，你要是對事情太敏感了，這些樂趣將會受到侵蝕，乃至成爲你生活中的一種累贅。隨時都要提高 對這種思想埋伏的警惕。
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peijin
看到比我年輕的人的時候我會感到很妒嫉他們。我最要就是他們那種還未受到損害的肺。抽煙已經對我來說不是什麽生活習慣了，這已經升華為一種哲理性命 題的境界了。每根在考驗我對人生的態度的堅定性。如果所有讓你悔恨的，虧心的，慚愧的，遺憾的事情都一下子沉澱到了内心深處的話，你還能繼續前進嘛？就不 知道爲什麽有的人就可以那樣義無反顧地前行。儒家的積極入世，道家的消極避世，我沒有覺得他們其中一個是正確的人生態度，但是我一貫的作風就是讓這兩個互 相矛盾的思想在我心理鬥爭。我知道我本性或心靈一只在呼籲我，叫我放下包袱，浩浩我應該去做的事情。問題時如果那些事情是需要錢的話，那我只能上班，委曲 求全，但是有時候，我會想，如果要花很多時間在那些我不相干的事情上面，還不如找一個不那麽的依賴人的行業，或事業。例如寫詩，不去拍電影了。聽憑心靈的 真得很困難，世俗的東西也容易上癮，一旦你説服自己了，我現在做的一切的一切都是值得做的，那就沒有問題了。你這樣可以迴避那些困難的人省困惑了。世俗追 求的魅惑很少人能真正的抵擋。賣一些照片，拍電影，表演音樂–如果這些都能如願以償，那麽我會開心嗎?我的情感結構爲什麽會是這樣的。爲什麽就不能求得 其他方面的成就。因爲如果你做起他的工作的話，你根本是受到上司的擺佈。所以我不太可能在一個跨國大企業裏面工作。那種事工作實在太令人反感了，
但到了最後是時間給你做了最後的抉擇。
屆時我的格言的會是：
我可以攀爬到十字架上面但你不要以爲我還會自備釘子。
我唯一的信條：自命不凡–如果到了最後我什麽做不好，只能做一些blogging 之類的東西，我會對自己很沮喪的。這是肯定的。
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peijin
This Chinese student came up with a Master’s thesis idea far more original than mine: disproving the Theory of Relativity:
研究生写论文质疑相对论被校方批评无知胡清桂等待宣判
(金牛法 本网记者 苏俊)由于自己撰写的论文《相对论错误证明》被西南交通大学学术委员会评价为“想当然”“无知”，西南交大在读研究生胡清桂认为该评审意见侮辱了自己的人格，将母校告上法院，要求公开赔礼道歉并赔偿精神损失1万元。
You can read the whole story here
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peijin
This NY Daily News piece on the death of Zarqawi is both interesting and disgusting (in its slant, esp. in its choice of words). “Zarq is blown right to hell” screams the headline: they might have just added “America…FUCK YEAH!”
THen there’s doozy of a line: President Bush predicted yesterday that the air strike may “turn the tide of this struggle.” The experience Israel has had with Hamas (or the PLO back in the day), or heck, in general seems to point to the fact that killing one person puts a dent in the network but it doesn’t necessarily “turn the tide,” that’s more PR for the american public and for the world to chew on.
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld marked the death by saying, “Over the past several years no single person on this planet has had the blood of more innocent men, women and children on his hands.” To figure out why you’re wrong, try looking in the mirror Rummy. I only hope that they live long enough to hear the world condemn them–of course much of the world already has–but its much more damning when that condemnation has the weight of time and history behind it.[tags]Iraq, Zarqawi, Rumsfeld, Bush, war[/tags]
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peijin
i was kinda scared, b/c i felt that with all the pictures of people sleeping, that i was pushing my luck–sooner or later i would run into that light sleeper and then i would, despite my bad knees, have to make a run for it. So i did the whole focus and reframe bit, and even though i think regularly framed pictures are boring and skew ones gimmicky, i guess you have to do one or the other. I liked the way this one worked out though.
[tags]photography, Shanghai, night, street, urban, Asia, street photography, Canon, color, Canon 20D, documentary [/tags]
