a shameful waste of madhouse time

I’ve never been a Dido fan, i don’t even know the name of any her songs save that “White Flag” one, but I did download her recent one. And although there are many nice tunes on it, there is one in particular that sticks out. The song is called “Look No Further” and i suppose that its poignancy, for me, is related to this whole idea of looking further–especially when it comes to relationships. There have been many times when it would have been possible or even wise to settle, and yet I was restless. Hormones, desires, neurotic maximizer tendencies, fear of making mistakes and wasting time–which is nothing but a permutation of the fear of death–what is behind that constant tendency to look for something more, something better, something ideal. Something that will bring us close to some kind of very probably illusory, half-baked notion of what happiness is. This song is the song of someone who has found something and will look no further–and I find solace in knowing that yes, people probably do, on the whole, experience a longer and more fulfilling happiness in this state–but the whole song, and not just the lyrics, is shot through with the consciousness of what one loses in that process. “Everyone I’ll never meet/and friends i won’t know make…”–lyrics like this understand the difficulty in acknowledging the sacrifices that every human being, simply by living in time with his animal condition, must confront everyday. If you think hard enough about it, do you get overwhelmed by sadness? Is it something more than you can bear?　Do you think about things that have past, people who have passed from your life and perhaps from this earth, or do you manage to always maintain that healthy, optimistic attitude of looking towards the future. Have you learned, somewhere, a philosophic tolerance for that transience？Was it something inherent in your genes, in your personality and the way it processes such things, or was it engineered by the formative experienced of childhood or early adulthood?

There is still the tendency of life to not make that choice. However, every moment that you are breathing you are making that choice. The contradictions are enough to tear one apart–therefore, in order not to go mad, all human beings have to firewall their attention so that you act, without thinking too much about the action. I only remark on this because the balance of power, in my life, has always sided with thinking–to the detriment of my overall happiness, i think. Vita contempliva and vita activa–that’s the wrong distinction. Both can be healthy and non-neurotic, depending on how you live them. The neurotic impasse, the block, the rut–those are the things that have to be avoided if you want to live life the right way.

Here are the lyrics to the song:

I might have been a singer
Who sailed around the world
A gambler who wins millions
And spent it all on girls

I might have been a poet
Who walked upon the moon
A scientist who wouldtell the world
I discovered something new

I might have loved a king
Been the one to end a war
A criminal who drink champaign
And never could be caught

But among your books
Among your clothes
Among the noise and fuss

I’ve let it go

I can’t stop and catch my breathe
And Look No further for happiness
And I will not turn again
‘Cause my heart has found its home

Everyone i’ll never meet
And friends I wont now make
The adventures that they could have been
And the risks I’ll never take

but Among Your Books
Among your clothes
Among the noise and fuss

I’ve let it go

I can’t stop and catch my breathe
And Look No further for happiness
And I will not turn again
‘Cause my heart has found its home