OK, so you might be wondering why I am reading an essay from the women’s section at 163.com, because that is SO NOT MY GENRE. But i was drawn to the title: “how should i deal with my husband’s many lovers”. At first I thought this meant a hubbie that was into menage a trois or more (the mathematical possibilities are endless) but in fact, it seemed mostly to be about something more basic: why can’t men keep their dicks in their pants when they’re supposed to. Like on long, lonely business trips. Here is one passage that i found particularly interesting:

老公说，其实每个男人最幻想的人生角色，就是国王。男人觉得，权利能征服男人，征服世界。而占有更多的女性–女人的身体，就等于占有了女性这个类别。每个男人，大概都是这样。就占有女人而言，男人需要资本。中国古代的潘安、柳下惠靠的是美貌，武则天的情人靠的是美貌加性能力、秦始皇母亲赵姬的情人嫪毐除了色相，似乎还有点别的类似于政治的东西。这些是古代的，现在的男人，单靠色相很难靠近更多的女性，因为东方女性属于被动型的。那么，钱就是很好的东西，男人占有金钱，然后用金钱征服女人。

老公接着说，你固然是个非常好非常好的完美女人，我找其她女人不是否定你。举个例子，我花100万给你买个貂皮大衣，可以说够昂贵了吧。但是这一辈子我只让你穿这件衣服，你会不会烦？

Here the writer, the wife, meets her husband and he says to her, “what every man wants, or fantasizes about being, is a king. Kings believe that power can conquer men, and conquering more women–conquering their bodies–is part of that same quest. Every man must share this impulse. Some men (and here they go in to some historical examples) use their looks or sexual ability as the ‘capital’ needed for their conquest, while others rely on money. My husband then said to me “just because I am with other women doesn’t negate what you are: for example, say that I spend one million to get you a jaguar fur coat–you could say that was quite
expensive. But if i told you to wear that thing the rest of your life, wouldn’t you find that restrictive?

再说了，男人，如果戴了绿帽子，原谅老婆会被人笑话是懦夫。女人，如果原谅老公的出轨，往往被视为美德。

Here the author says “if a woman cheats on a man, he would be considered a fool to forgive her. However, if a man cheats, the wife is considered virtuous for forgiving her husband.

That’s a cliche but i think that it certainly has a bit of merit in modern Chinese life, at least from what i know anecdotally…and see on TV.

Anyway, nothing special there. Just your run of the mill battle of the sexes stuff…like the whole bit about the king though…I can’t imagine saying that to any girl i have dated or would marry without her slapping me so hard in the face that my teeth rattle.

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