OK, so you might be wondering why I am reading an essay from the women’s section at 163.com, because that is SO NOT MY GENRE. But i was drawn to the title: “how should i deal with my husband’s many lovers”. At first I thought this meant a hubbie that was into menage a trois or more (the mathematical possibilities are endless) but in fact, it seemed mostly to be about something more basic: why can’t men keep their dicks in their pants when they’re supposed to. Like on long, lonely business trips. Here is one passage that i found particularly interesting:

老公说，其实每个男人最幻想的人生角色，就是国王。男人觉得，权利能征服男人，征服世界。而占有更多的女性–女人的身体，就等于占有了女性这个类别。每个男人，大概都是这样。就占有女人而言，男人需要资本。中国古代的潘安、柳下惠靠的是美貌，武则天的情人靠的是美貌加性能力、秦始皇母亲赵姬的情人嫪毐除了色相，似乎还有点别的类似于政治的东西。这些是古代的，现在的男人，单靠色相很难靠近更多的女性，因为东方女性属于被动型的。那么，钱就是很好的东西，男人占有金钱，然后用金钱征服女人。

老公接着说，你固然是个非常好非常好的完美女人，我找其她女人不是否定你。举个例子，我花100万给你买个貂皮大衣，可以说够昂贵了吧。但是这一辈子我只让你穿这件衣服，你会不会烦？

Here the writer, the wife, meets her husband and he says to her, “what every man wants, or fantasizes about being, is a king. Kings believe that power can conquer men, and conquering more women–conquering their bodies–is part of that same quest. Every man must share this impulse. Some men (and here they go in to some historical examples) use their looks or sexual ability as the ‘capital’ needed for their conquest, while others rely on money. My husband then said to me “just because I am with other women doesn’t negate what you are: for example, say that I spend one million to get you a jaguar fur coat–you could say that was quite
expensive. But if i told you to wear that thing the rest of your life, wouldn’t you find that restrictive?

再说了，男人，如果戴了绿帽子，原谅老婆会被人笑话是懦夫。女人，如果原谅老公的出轨，往往被视为美德。

Here the author says “if a woman cheats on a man, he would be considered a fool to forgive her. However, if a man cheats, the wife is considered virtuous for forgiving her husband.

That’s a cliche but i think that it certainly has a bit of merit in modern Chinese life, at least from what i know anecdotally…and see on TV.

Anyway, nothing special there. Just your run of the mill battle of the sexes stuff…like the whole bit about the king though…I can’t imagine saying that to any girl i have dated or would marry without her slapping me so hard in the face that my teeth rattle.

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MBA相亲会数百人参加 女性怨男性“素质低”(图)_网易新闻中心 via kwout

Hmmm it seems that kwout is having problems with Chinese character encodings…oh well. The link is to an article about a marriage, dating meetup that paired some highly-educated lasses with some not so tall men. Some men complained that they were afraid of women who were too well-educated, saying that they were picky and were too lofty in their goals for life and love. The women said that barely any men were over the height of 1.75. There is hope for me yet.

marriage, MBA, single, sex, china, chinese, guangzhou, society

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奥运结束众星结婚 迎娶郭晶晶霍启刚备1亿彩礼 via kwout

百度图片搜索_http://img.sport366.com/upload/2008/08/11/132200000.jpg的搜索结果 via kwout

Seeing that my Guo Jingjing post from a couple of months ago seems to be getting the most hits out of anything that I’ve written, I’ve decided to completely sell-out and write more about her. Yeah you heard me right. My ego needs the traffic. If I can figure out how to get Google ads showing up right, I could make a dime at it too.

As you might know, she’s getting married to Kenneth Fok (霍启刚); they’ve been dating several years and were waiting for the Olympics to end and Guo to retire (was she planning on retiring right after the Olympics?). It seems Kenneth knows is way around the uptown girls: the girls that he’s dated have all been society-types, the daughters of fairly famous or prestigious men. In 2004 he started dating Guo.

Of course, this kind of thing is not without precedent: Fu Mingxia, another celebrated Chinese diver,also married into Hong Kong wealth.
As for Guo, rumor has it that Fok is going to dish out 100 million RMB for some siheyuan property in Beijing for Guo’s parents.

And her dowry features some gold and silver, and would fetch a fair price on any market, black or otherwise, and that ain’t shabby either.

Not sure what I think about these types of thing: I mean they are as old as human society, this type of “selection”—I’m not saying it’s not love, it almost always is—so in that sense, its no different from how other people find their partners—introductions from people they know in common, etc. But in the end, it’s just access: each person has a limited amount of resources for meeting people. There are some circles you just can’t swim in. And that’s ok, that’s true as much for the rich and social elite as much as for anyone else.

Nonetheless, if one wanted to probe beneath the surface and ask about if there’s anything of cultural or sociological interest regarding such things in Chinese society, well, what could you say?
Are these things more prevalent than before? Is the mixing of worlds (Hong Kong business, mainland sports) more common than before, are there combinations (milieu A and milieu B) that might have been so common before?

Or is this, like all celebrity gossip, just a monumental waste of human time and effort?

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This is the first time that I have ever seen Wong Kar-wai without his trademark sunglasses. I never realized his face was so big;
evidently the shades he wears occupy a good part of his face. He was in Bhutan for the wedding of Tony Leung and Carina Lau
and lots of other Hong Kong celebs, such as Faye Wong, were there as well.

Anyway, he looks like such a regular postman dude in the picture that I was left scratching my head…so that’s WKW? How could this be?
I hope he dons his glasses again soon.

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Summary: born in 1969, Tu Shaoquan doens’t have a lot of money and isn;’t good looking, but in the span of year managed to get three women to bear him three children. After investigation, it was discovered that Tu had a total of five “wives” and seven children.

Ms. He was one of his wives. Her parents divorced at an early age and needing some fatherly love, she fell in love with Tu. After they found that she was pregnant, he convinced her to keep the child. Five months into her pregnancy, she found out that he had other women. She was saddened but unwilling to give up her child, she went on and eventually gave birth to their child. Later on, she discovered that he’d been lying to her all along. He had told her that he was divorced and had one child.

Ms. He discovered that two of his other children were born on November 14, 2006 and December 24, 2006. Her child was born on December 12, 2007. In slightly over a year, Tu had fathered three children.

So here’s the breakdown: Tu had one child from his first marriage, then got divorced. Then he met and married a teacher named Li, and they had two kids. He’s living with her but they have problems. He had another woman named Tang, who bore him two children, but without being married they don’t have his hukou and he doesn’t have to pay childcare; with Liu he had one child, and she returned to her old home in Sichuan to have it, and with Ms. He he had one child.

After discovering that Tu’s whereabouts were unknown, Ms. He contacted Ms. Liu and went to the police station together to report a missing person. Tu’s wife Zhu showed them her marriage certificates and demanded a divorce. In June a court handed down a polygamy verdict and sentenced him to two years in prison.

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This is a picture from there…I guess they are getting married in a couple of days? Not like i really care that much, but I really thought that he was gay, and that the reason they had not tied the knot for so long was that and/or because they had other lovers.

oh well.

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Saw this on vip.bokee.com–it says that unmarried women in Guangdong are not allowed to receive artificial insemination because the right to be a mother is tied to wedlock. Another factoid worth noting: in the ten years that they’ve been doing reproductive planning Guangdong province has “saved itself” an estimated 40 million people. That’s pretty darn amazing if you think about it, and regardless of whether or not you agree with the politics or ethics behind it. The numbers are just impressive, in the way that numbers from China are always kinda impressive or astounding.

Technorati Tags: reproduction, parents, parenthood, china, one child, chinese, guangdong, abortion, birth, death, population, marriage, women, insemination

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